I love my dad.
I love being his daughter.
I love traveling with him. All of our roadtrips, vacations in Hawaii, visiting family in California and Utah, my 16th birthday (just the 2 of us) in San Francisco, camping together… so many amazing memories made.
I love that he taught me how to ride a bike by holding on to the back of my seat and running with me for hours. Then later did the same for both Tyler and Jackson.
I love the memories of standing on his feet and dancing in our living room listening to vynol records of Nat King Cole.
I love that he married my 6th grade teacher and was nervous to tell me that they had been dating.
I love how involved he has always been with his 3 children.
I love how he believes that each one of his children are absolutely perfect.
I love his hugs.
I love how whenever he buys a shirt or a coat it quickly becomes "the Shirt," or "the coat" and he doesn't take it off until it smells.
I love that he is a goofy dancer despite marrying a dance studio owner.
I love that he took me prom dress shopping not once but twice in downtown and sat and ooed and awed as I tried on dress after dress.
I love his nicknames for everyone. Mine being Whitty, Whitster or Princess.
I love it when people tell me I look like him.
I love him as a coach.
I love his facial expressions.
I love his voice.
I love his "wayneisms"- "Working hard or hardly working." or "Oh my gosh, you think so? Why do you say that?" when he's fishing for more compliments.
I love that he roots for the Cougs and proudly wears his WSU hat living so close to UW.
I love that he wears t-shirts, hats and pants until they literally disintegrate.
I love that he made it possible for me to attend every WSU football game home and away my senior year of college and made it a point to be there with me 90% of the time.
I love his competitiveness… every single one of his children has inherited it.
I love the way he cooks.
I love the way he likes to teases the people he loves.
I love that he loves my husband more than just an in-law.
I love his "c-chippers." Best chocolate chip cookies in the world.
I love the way he can laugh at me and calm me down when I'm wound a little too tightly.
I love that he puts catsup on his eggs and macaroni and cheese.
I love his advice.
I love that he doesn't waste milk when eating a bowl of cereal and makes it a big debate when others do.
I love what a proud father and grandpa he is. Always boasting about one of his children or grandchildren.
I love his sense of humor.
I love the numerous times he has taken Jordyn to dance class and proudly participated with her, then rewarded her with goldfish crackers in the end.
I love it when people tell me that my son looks like him.
I love it when he tells me how my children like to be held, fed, burped, sung to and is only half joking assuming that he knows them better than me.
I love his honesty, even when I disagree.
I love how we can sit in silence and just be together.
I love his strength… he is a fighter by nature.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Missing Dad
Everything feels like it is moving so fast these days. There is never enough time. The last few months have been a whirlwind, and sometimes just stepping outside takes my breath away. It's hard to put the feeling into words, but seeing families busy, smiling and going about life has been tough. It reminds me of the fog I have been in, how disconnected I have felt. Watching cancer take my father from me, while raising my two young children, reconnecting with my husband and trying to celebrate the holidays has left my brain and heart in a daze. It feels like life is stuck on fast forward. I look at Jordyn and Isaac and think where have the last few months gone? How have they changed and grown so much? I spend all day every day with my babies, but it still feels like I'm missing out sometimes. I'm afraid I haven't taken the time to enjoy each day with them and soak up every little stage of their lives. Life has just been so busy... I feel like I've barely had a chance to talk to my husband about anything other than, "Did you remember to take the garbage out?" Where has all the time gone?
It is so bittersweet watching Jordyn and Isaac grow up. I can't believe how big they are getting. Jordyn is running, jumping, talking, singing, dancing, counting and so many other things. She is my crazy, beautiful, emotional and independent little lady. Isaac is now crawling like a champ, cruising on furniture and eating Cherrios all on his own. He is my determined, chubby, sweet and heart melting little man. Together, they are the reason I get up in the morning. I don't feel like I've been completely present for them the last few months, I haven't stopped to take in all the amazing things about them. The last few months I haven't been the mom that I want to be... I've been in survival mode. They deserve more of me. They keep me going even on my darkest days. Without them, I don't think I would have made it through the holidays this year. Sometimes I just sit in stare at them. They are so innocent. They don't know about all the stresses in the world. Neither of them understand what has happened to Grandpa, or where he has gone. They deserve to grow up knowing their Grandpa. A Grandpa who was always well equipped with "fishy crackers," funny faces and the willingness to participate in a parent tot dance class with his silly granddaughter.
Christmas was rough this year. It was beautiful to see the joy on my (almost) 3 year old's face when she realized that Santa had come, so much fun this year with her understanding of Christmas. At the same time it was so tough to see presents under the tree that were intended for my dad to open. Presents that were discussed with him while he was alive, getting his opinion on things and knowing that there was a chance he wouldn't make it until Christmas day. Remembering those conversations and knowing that there wouldn't be any more like them, missing him so much that at times it was hard to breathe. Even tougher was later in the day opening presents from him, presents that he helped pick out but that I wouldn't be able to thank him for. But the toughest was just the feeling of this being the first Christmas without him.
Dad passed away just after 11 pm on December 16th after his 2.5 year battle with cancer. I had just left his house at about 9:30 pm that night and took an extra long time saying goodbye that night. I knew that there was a good chance that it would be my last goodbye. He had become unresponsive the night before but I believe that he was able to hear me tell him what an amazing Dad he is and how much I love him. The tears streamed down my face as I told him that I would take care of my little brothers and step-mom and that it was okay to let go. My body trembled as I hugged him for a very long time. I wish so badly that he could have hugged back like the night before. As I walked out of the room it didn't feel real, much like many of the moments along this journey with him. I don't know how time moved so quickly from the moment we were given his prognosis to then. 2.5 years had gone by in the blink of an eye.
The last few weeks have been full of planning his memorial, grieving for him, and finding the energy to prepare for and celebrate Christmas. My brain hasn't yet had the chance to untangle the mess that my heart is in, and I don't know that I'm ready for it to either. I have purposefully kept myself busy because I don't know that I'm ready all for those feelings just yet. I get an unwelcomed taste of that sadness at night after everyone in my house has gone to sleep and time slows down for just a bit. That's when the tears have a chance to readily fall. It can be therapeutic and painful all at the same time. I miss him so much. I know that over time, things will get better, but oddly enough that is the only instance in which time is moving slowly these days.
It is so bittersweet watching Jordyn and Isaac grow up. I can't believe how big they are getting. Jordyn is running, jumping, talking, singing, dancing, counting and so many other things. She is my crazy, beautiful, emotional and independent little lady. Isaac is now crawling like a champ, cruising on furniture and eating Cherrios all on his own. He is my determined, chubby, sweet and heart melting little man. Together, they are the reason I get up in the morning. I don't feel like I've been completely present for them the last few months, I haven't stopped to take in all the amazing things about them. The last few months I haven't been the mom that I want to be... I've been in survival mode. They deserve more of me. They keep me going even on my darkest days. Without them, I don't think I would have made it through the holidays this year. Sometimes I just sit in stare at them. They are so innocent. They don't know about all the stresses in the world. Neither of them understand what has happened to Grandpa, or where he has gone. They deserve to grow up knowing their Grandpa. A Grandpa who was always well equipped with "fishy crackers," funny faces and the willingness to participate in a parent tot dance class with his silly granddaughter.
Christmas was rough this year. It was beautiful to see the joy on my (almost) 3 year old's face when she realized that Santa had come, so much fun this year with her understanding of Christmas. At the same time it was so tough to see presents under the tree that were intended for my dad to open. Presents that were discussed with him while he was alive, getting his opinion on things and knowing that there was a chance he wouldn't make it until Christmas day. Remembering those conversations and knowing that there wouldn't be any more like them, missing him so much that at times it was hard to breathe. Even tougher was later in the day opening presents from him, presents that he helped pick out but that I wouldn't be able to thank him for. But the toughest was just the feeling of this being the first Christmas without him.
Dad passed away just after 11 pm on December 16th after his 2.5 year battle with cancer. I had just left his house at about 9:30 pm that night and took an extra long time saying goodbye that night. I knew that there was a good chance that it would be my last goodbye. He had become unresponsive the night before but I believe that he was able to hear me tell him what an amazing Dad he is and how much I love him. The tears streamed down my face as I told him that I would take care of my little brothers and step-mom and that it was okay to let go. My body trembled as I hugged him for a very long time. I wish so badly that he could have hugged back like the night before. As I walked out of the room it didn't feel real, much like many of the moments along this journey with him. I don't know how time moved so quickly from the moment we were given his prognosis to then. 2.5 years had gone by in the blink of an eye.
The last few weeks have been full of planning his memorial, grieving for him, and finding the energy to prepare for and celebrate Christmas. My brain hasn't yet had the chance to untangle the mess that my heart is in, and I don't know that I'm ready for it to either. I have purposefully kept myself busy because I don't know that I'm ready all for those feelings just yet. I get an unwelcomed taste of that sadness at night after everyone in my house has gone to sleep and time slows down for just a bit. That's when the tears have a chance to readily fall. It can be therapeutic and painful all at the same time. I miss him so much. I know that over time, things will get better, but oddly enough that is the only instance in which time is moving slowly these days.
Monday, May 21, 2012
1 month old
Wow, I can't believe how quickly my little man is growing up.
He is already rolling over like crazy. Did it for the first time at exactly 3 weeks, and now I can't hardly get him to stay on his tummy.
Isaac's favorite pastimes these days are nursing, farting, filling diapers and watching his sister be silly. I love both of my monkeys, but at the end of the day I'm worn out!
Monday, April 30, 2012
Isaac Wayne Davis
He's here!!!
On April 6th at exactly 7:30 am Isaac Wayne Davis came into the world. Our little man weighed 6 lbs and 14 oz and measured 20 inches long (just a little smaller than his sister, but he was 2 weeks early and she was a week late).
The decision to have Isaac early was not an easy one. I wanted so badly to go into labor on my own and have a drug free, vaginal delivery, but unfortunately that was just not in the cards for us. After my blood clot had resolved, I thought we were in the clear, but of course not right? In and ultrasound we ended up finding that Isaac had an umbilical cord verix. This meant that his umbilical cord was dilated and enlarged. The concern with this is that there is a much greater chance of a blood clot developing in that vein, which could in turn cut off blood flow to the baby. This officially put us in the "high risk" department and had me in the doctor's office 3x a week from 32 weeks on. As we got closer to my due date, the decision was made that it would just be safest to take Mr. Isaac early.
Regardless of how he came into this world, I am very thankful to have happy and healthy baby boy. Recovery from the repeat C-section has been much easier. I was actually able to get up and shower on my own within 24 hours after having him and was able to go home just 48 hours after he was born. At just 3.5 weeks postpartum, I almost feel like my old self (minus the extra 12 pounds and the muffin top that I'm still lugging around).
Settling into our new life as a family of four has been pretty smooth. Jordyn did have some trouble for the first couple of days, but she seems to have gotten the hang of things. All of us are very thankful to have Scott home for the 6 weeks that we get him. I have no idea how I would be surviving with out him!!! Jordyn has really become a Daddy's girl, which Scott absolutely loves. I can't even begin to think about things after he leaves (it honestly gets hard to breathe), but I know that I'll find some inner strength and that we'll all survive.
While I wish this post about our life these days could continue to be all rosy and happy, talking about the birth of our son, I have to give an update on my dad.
It seems like these days my dad can't catch a freaking break. In March he was taken off the clinical trial drug because his white blood cells were measuring very low, and he needed to give his immune system a break. About 10 days later he went back on the drug. Unfortunately every time he goes off the drug he has to suffer with his body going through withdraws, and then every time he starts it back up again he has to go through all the initial harsher side effects (annoying, but okay, he can deal with this). He then developed pancreatitis (more than just annoying, scary and painful). To combat his pancreatitis, he was put on a clear liquid diet for 3 days and then a strict NO fat diet. Sometimes I swear it is just one thing after another for him. I hate Cancer!!! The pancreatitis caused him to lose quite a bit of weight and make him feel miserable and weak. Thankfully, he wasn't forced to cancel his trip to Hawaii with Maygan and the boys.
Just as he was starting to get back into a rhythm, he was hit with something new and much scarier. Sometime between very late on Sunday, April 22nd and very early Monday April 23rd, my dad suffered a stroke. He was taken to the ER very early Monday morning. When I arrived hours later to the ICU, my dad was unable to speak or move the right side of his body. All I could do is cry and pray and cry some more.
It seems as though God was listening to my prayers, because a week later he is on his way to recovery and making great strides. I never thought that seeing my dad walk could bring tears to my eyes, the same with watching him tie his shoe, or send a text message. He is still in the hospital, currently in the Intensive Therapy Unit, and working incredibly hard in getting back to his old self. I am absolutely amazed by his strength and determination through all of this. Most days while I'm visiting him in the hospital, he is making me laugh with his jokes, or in the way he loves to give the nurses a hard time. He is going to have a very long road to recovery, but I am thankful for his determination and good spirits. So far his biggest challenge in recovery has been regaining his speech. It is difficult for me to see him frustrated and I pray every day that things get easier for him.
Nighttime feedings with Isaac and daily commutes to the hospital have left me pretty exhausted these days so I'm going to end this post now. I ask that anyone who has taken the time to read all my sleepy babble, please take the time to pray for my father's health.
The decision to have Isaac early was not an easy one. I wanted so badly to go into labor on my own and have a drug free, vaginal delivery, but unfortunately that was just not in the cards for us. After my blood clot had resolved, I thought we were in the clear, but of course not right? In and ultrasound we ended up finding that Isaac had an umbilical cord verix. This meant that his umbilical cord was dilated and enlarged. The concern with this is that there is a much greater chance of a blood clot developing in that vein, which could in turn cut off blood flow to the baby. This officially put us in the "high risk" department and had me in the doctor's office 3x a week from 32 weeks on. As we got closer to my due date, the decision was made that it would just be safest to take Mr. Isaac early.
Regardless of how he came into this world, I am very thankful to have happy and healthy baby boy. Recovery from the repeat C-section has been much easier. I was actually able to get up and shower on my own within 24 hours after having him and was able to go home just 48 hours after he was born. At just 3.5 weeks postpartum, I almost feel like my old self (minus the extra 12 pounds and the muffin top that I'm still lugging around).
Settling into our new life as a family of four has been pretty smooth. Jordyn did have some trouble for the first couple of days, but she seems to have gotten the hang of things. All of us are very thankful to have Scott home for the 6 weeks that we get him. I have no idea how I would be surviving with out him!!! Jordyn has really become a Daddy's girl, which Scott absolutely loves. I can't even begin to think about things after he leaves (it honestly gets hard to breathe), but I know that I'll find some inner strength and that we'll all survive.
It seems like these days my dad can't catch a freaking break. In March he was taken off the clinical trial drug because his white blood cells were measuring very low, and he needed to give his immune system a break. About 10 days later he went back on the drug. Unfortunately every time he goes off the drug he has to suffer with his body going through withdraws, and then every time he starts it back up again he has to go through all the initial harsher side effects (annoying, but okay, he can deal with this). He then developed pancreatitis (more than just annoying, scary and painful). To combat his pancreatitis, he was put on a clear liquid diet for 3 days and then a strict NO fat diet. Sometimes I swear it is just one thing after another for him. I hate Cancer!!! The pancreatitis caused him to lose quite a bit of weight and make him feel miserable and weak. Thankfully, he wasn't forced to cancel his trip to Hawaii with Maygan and the boys.
Just as he was starting to get back into a rhythm, he was hit with something new and much scarier. Sometime between very late on Sunday, April 22nd and very early Monday April 23rd, my dad suffered a stroke. He was taken to the ER very early Monday morning. When I arrived hours later to the ICU, my dad was unable to speak or move the right side of his body. All I could do is cry and pray and cry some more.
It seems as though God was listening to my prayers, because a week later he is on his way to recovery and making great strides. I never thought that seeing my dad walk could bring tears to my eyes, the same with watching him tie his shoe, or send a text message. He is still in the hospital, currently in the Intensive Therapy Unit, and working incredibly hard in getting back to his old self. I am absolutely amazed by his strength and determination through all of this. Most days while I'm visiting him in the hospital, he is making me laugh with his jokes, or in the way he loves to give the nurses a hard time. He is going to have a very long road to recovery, but I am thankful for his determination and good spirits. So far his biggest challenge in recovery has been regaining his speech. It is difficult for me to see him frustrated and I pray every day that things get easier for him.
Nighttime feedings with Isaac and daily commutes to the hospital have left me pretty exhausted these days so I'm going to end this post now. I ask that anyone who has taken the time to read all my sleepy babble, please take the time to pray for my father's health.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
I'm trying...
There really isn't any point in reading this post, because it's mostly just me venting. I'm crazy, emotional and pregnant. A lot of people have heard me complain about how tough things are right now, and some have even read about it through my blog or Facebook. Anyone close to us knows that the last year and a half has not been the easiest for us. I've always been a firm believer that God doesn't give you anything that you can't handle, and that I should always be looking for life's lessons in each of our hardships... But lately I have been struggling.
Jordyn has hands down been the greatest blessing God has ever given me. The first moment I looked into her eyes, my entire life took on a whole new purpose. I never imagined I could love someone so much. I feel such great responsibility to be a good mom, and have tried my best to always put her first. I'm sure I've made plenty of mistakes in mothering, but I promise that my heart has always been in the right place. After months of daycare, Scott and I decided it would be best if I were able to stay at home with her. I'm constantly obsessing if she is on track with development, eating well enough, getting enough sleep and generally being happy.
Just a few months after Jordyn's birth, we found out that my Dad has stage 4 thyroid cancer. I can't even begin to describe how devastating this has been for us and the amount of heartache this has caused for our family. Even writing this now, I'm having to pause to wipe the tears from my eyes. This hasn't been a subject that I have opened up about to too many people, for many reasons: I don't want pitty, when people acknowledge my feelings it makes me cry, this isn't about me and my feelings (it's about my Dad), most people don't understand and I don't expect them to, there isn't anything anyone can say that could make it better, I want to be strong, I don't want to make people feel awkward, and honestly I don't want to think about Cancer... I don't want it to be real. I don't want my Dad to read this or know how much I worry because I don't want him to worry about me. Cancer is impossible and unfair. Every time we get bad news it sends me into panic mode and I start thinking about all of the negative outcomes. He is so strong and positive, I am so thankful that he is such a fighter. He is currently on his second clinical trial drug and we are praying it's effective. I am doing my best to stay positive with him.
Last March Scott's job sent him to Ely, Nevada. Not having him here with me everyday sucks. He is such a good dad and husband... We need him! I know it sucks even worse for him. It's lonely on both ends. I'm here isolated with Jordyn and he's just isolated. For a whie I was watching other babies and spending all of my time with people in diapers, starving for adult interaction, but now it's just Jordyn and me. He spends all his time with smelly construction workers and then goes home to live in a motorhome all alone. Jordyn misses her dad and I miss my husband. It's tough to do simple things like get a hair cut or go to the doctor because Jordyn has to go with me. I complain about him being gone all the time and I wish I could be stronger, but I'm trying. Being a single parent is hard. It requires a lot of energy, and can be very lonely. I still can't believe that Scott has been gone for almost a year now.
One would think that we had a pretty full plate by this point, but we're crazy and wanted to add another baby to the mix. I am so happy to be pregnant again, and feel so blessed to be expecting a boy this April. Scott and I always wanted our kids close together and we both really wanted my Dad to be around for all of our children. Still, some people still think we're crazy and maybe even irresponsible for spreading ourselves so thin... To them I say boo! Of course this pregnancy has had complications... I almost lost him at 13 weeks and was put on bed rest. How the hell does a full time mom do bed rest? I have had to rely on family so much and I hate doing that! Since baby boy Davis is measuring so big, it looks lime I'm going to have to have a repeat C-section. Scott gets to take 4 weeks of f whe. This baby is born, but I'm nervous about handling both kids on my own when he leaves while still trying to heal from major surgery. I have no idea how I'm going to be able to do all of this, but I'm going to try my best.
I am trying so hard to hold everything together and still be a good mom, wife, daughter, sister, daughter-in-law and friend, but I sometimes feel like I'm failing at everything. I don't know why I'm bitching about all of this in a blog late at night, maybe it's because I got in a fight with my mother-in-law and miss my husband and can't sleep.
Jordyn has hands down been the greatest blessing God has ever given me. The first moment I looked into her eyes, my entire life took on a whole new purpose. I never imagined I could love someone so much. I feel such great responsibility to be a good mom, and have tried my best to always put her first. I'm sure I've made plenty of mistakes in mothering, but I promise that my heart has always been in the right place. After months of daycare, Scott and I decided it would be best if I were able to stay at home with her. I'm constantly obsessing if she is on track with development, eating well enough, getting enough sleep and generally being happy.
Just a few months after Jordyn's birth, we found out that my Dad has stage 4 thyroid cancer. I can't even begin to describe how devastating this has been for us and the amount of heartache this has caused for our family. Even writing this now, I'm having to pause to wipe the tears from my eyes. This hasn't been a subject that I have opened up about to too many people, for many reasons: I don't want pitty, when people acknowledge my feelings it makes me cry, this isn't about me and my feelings (it's about my Dad), most people don't understand and I don't expect them to, there isn't anything anyone can say that could make it better, I want to be strong, I don't want to make people feel awkward, and honestly I don't want to think about Cancer... I don't want it to be real. I don't want my Dad to read this or know how much I worry because I don't want him to worry about me. Cancer is impossible and unfair. Every time we get bad news it sends me into panic mode and I start thinking about all of the negative outcomes. He is so strong and positive, I am so thankful that he is such a fighter. He is currently on his second clinical trial drug and we are praying it's effective. I am doing my best to stay positive with him.
Last March Scott's job sent him to Ely, Nevada. Not having him here with me everyday sucks. He is such a good dad and husband... We need him! I know it sucks even worse for him. It's lonely on both ends. I'm here isolated with Jordyn and he's just isolated. For a whie I was watching other babies and spending all of my time with people in diapers, starving for adult interaction, but now it's just Jordyn and me. He spends all his time with smelly construction workers and then goes home to live in a motorhome all alone. Jordyn misses her dad and I miss my husband. It's tough to do simple things like get a hair cut or go to the doctor because Jordyn has to go with me. I complain about him being gone all the time and I wish I could be stronger, but I'm trying. Being a single parent is hard. It requires a lot of energy, and can be very lonely. I still can't believe that Scott has been gone for almost a year now.
One would think that we had a pretty full plate by this point, but we're crazy and wanted to add another baby to the mix. I am so happy to be pregnant again, and feel so blessed to be expecting a boy this April. Scott and I always wanted our kids close together and we both really wanted my Dad to be around for all of our children. Still, some people still think we're crazy and maybe even irresponsible for spreading ourselves so thin... To them I say boo! Of course this pregnancy has had complications... I almost lost him at 13 weeks and was put on bed rest. How the hell does a full time mom do bed rest? I have had to rely on family so much and I hate doing that! Since baby boy Davis is measuring so big, it looks lime I'm going to have to have a repeat C-section. Scott gets to take 4 weeks of f whe. This baby is born, but I'm nervous about handling both kids on my own when he leaves while still trying to heal from major surgery. I have no idea how I'm going to be able to do all of this, but I'm going to try my best.
I am trying so hard to hold everything together and still be a good mom, wife, daughter, sister, daughter-in-law and friend, but I sometimes feel like I'm failing at everything. I don't know why I'm bitching about all of this in a blog late at night, maybe it's because I got in a fight with my mother-in-law and miss my husband and can't sleep.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
So much to update
I was so good at updating this blog when I was pregnant with Jordyn... But of course that was before I was chasing around a toddler.
Holy cow, my daughter is an animal! Please don't get me wrong, I love her to death, she is a wonderful kid, but she is still a toddler. Everything is about independence these days with Miss Jordyn. She is over strollers and highchairs which make shopping and meal time so much fun. Now that I'm pregnant and getting larger by the day it is getting harder and harder to chase her. I'm sure we are quite the show together in the mall.
Jordyn is incredibly smart, picking up new words every day... Some of her latest are "disgusting," and "Christmas." She also loves singing her "ABC's," and "Itsy Bitsy Spider." She goes nuts over water... Swimming, washing her hands, and doing dishes are favorite pastimes. She is amazing and such a blessing.
Over Thanksgiving we found out that we're expecting a BOY!!! We couldn't be more excited and I'm pretty sure Scott feels like he is on top of the world, he has already predicted the 2032 Rose Bowl MVP :). In other great news, my blood clot appears to be gone!!! I am off bed rest!!! I am so happy that this baby boy is growing perfectly and and that everything is going well.
I'm still not working, but actually getting to enjoy the time at home with Jordyn before baby boy comes. Today we went to the Lynnwood pool and played for 2 hours! She had so much fun and is now taking a very long nap :) I feel so acomplished when I've worn her out, and have earned a little down time to myself. Scott is still out of state and Jordyn and I miss him like crazy. We're excited to have him back for 10 days during Christmas.
In other updates, my Dad's cancer has spread and we're continueing to ask for prayers. He will be starting a new drug today and we have very high hopes for this one. He is a fighter and everyday I am amazed by his strength and positive attitude.
I'm hoping to be able to post some pictures soon, I'm not sure how to do at from my iPad just yet, but at 21 weeks I have gained 14 pounds (over achiever) and have a huge belly to show for it. Thank you for checking in on my family.
Holy cow, my daughter is an animal! Please don't get me wrong, I love her to death, she is a wonderful kid, but she is still a toddler. Everything is about independence these days with Miss Jordyn. She is over strollers and highchairs which make shopping and meal time so much fun. Now that I'm pregnant and getting larger by the day it is getting harder and harder to chase her. I'm sure we are quite the show together in the mall.
Jordyn is incredibly smart, picking up new words every day... Some of her latest are "disgusting," and "Christmas." She also loves singing her "ABC's," and "Itsy Bitsy Spider." She goes nuts over water... Swimming, washing her hands, and doing dishes are favorite pastimes. She is amazing and such a blessing.
Over Thanksgiving we found out that we're expecting a BOY!!! We couldn't be more excited and I'm pretty sure Scott feels like he is on top of the world, he has already predicted the 2032 Rose Bowl MVP :). In other great news, my blood clot appears to be gone!!! I am off bed rest!!! I am so happy that this baby boy is growing perfectly and and that everything is going well.
I'm still not working, but actually getting to enjoy the time at home with Jordyn before baby boy comes. Today we went to the Lynnwood pool and played for 2 hours! She had so much fun and is now taking a very long nap :) I feel so acomplished when I've worn her out, and have earned a little down time to myself. Scott is still out of state and Jordyn and I miss him like crazy. We're excited to have him back for 10 days during Christmas.
In other updates, my Dad's cancer has spread and we're continueing to ask for prayers. He will be starting a new drug today and we have very high hopes for this one. He is a fighter and everyday I am amazed by his strength and positive attitude.
I'm hoping to be able to post some pictures soon, I'm not sure how to do at from my iPad just yet, but at 21 weeks I have gained 14 pounds (over achiever) and have a huge belly to show for it. Thank you for checking in on my family.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Bed rest... At 15 weeks
Subchoronic hematoma... Aka, a big old blood clot between my placenta and uterine wall.
I've never thought that I would openly be talking about my placenta, or uterus, but these days they come up in my everyday conversation.
Two weeks ago, I was relaxing on the couch, and when I stood up I felt a big gush. I went to the bathroom to find every pregnant woman's worst nightmare... Bright red blood, and a ton of it. Immediately panic set in, quickly followed by severe cramping. Anyway, I ended up driving myself to the ER. An ultrasound showed that we still had a heartbeat, but they weren't able to give an explanation for the bleeding. I was told to go home and do bed rest until my next appointment.
My mother-in-law came to stay with me and help me take care of Jordyn, and eventually the bleeding turned into spotting. At my follow up appointment, I was taken off bed rest and told to just take it easy. After 3 days of taking it "easy" the heavy bleeding returned. Another emergency ultrasound, but this one in the OB office showed a large blood clot under the edge of my placenta. The treatment being more bed rest, and no more nannying.
Jordyn and I are now staying with family since I'm not really allowed to lift anything and I'm officially out of a job. It's been a crazy 2 weeks, full of change and emotions. Scott and I are dealing with the financial changes, trying to be supportive of each other and praying that we are able to keep this baby.
So my official status is 15 weeks pregnant, on bed rest, with a subchorionic hematoma, high risk of late miscarriage and premature labor. Morning sickness is gone and I've gained 5 pounds.
Thanks for checking in on our expanding family.
I've never thought that I would openly be talking about my placenta, or uterus, but these days they come up in my everyday conversation.
Two weeks ago, I was relaxing on the couch, and when I stood up I felt a big gush. I went to the bathroom to find every pregnant woman's worst nightmare... Bright red blood, and a ton of it. Immediately panic set in, quickly followed by severe cramping. Anyway, I ended up driving myself to the ER. An ultrasound showed that we still had a heartbeat, but they weren't able to give an explanation for the bleeding. I was told to go home and do bed rest until my next appointment.
My mother-in-law came to stay with me and help me take care of Jordyn, and eventually the bleeding turned into spotting. At my follow up appointment, I was taken off bed rest and told to just take it easy. After 3 days of taking it "easy" the heavy bleeding returned. Another emergency ultrasound, but this one in the OB office showed a large blood clot under the edge of my placenta. The treatment being more bed rest, and no more nannying.
Jordyn and I are now staying with family since I'm not really allowed to lift anything and I'm officially out of a job. It's been a crazy 2 weeks, full of change and emotions. Scott and I are dealing with the financial changes, trying to be supportive of each other and praying that we are able to keep this baby.
So my official status is 15 weeks pregnant, on bed rest, with a subchorionic hematoma, high risk of late miscarriage and premature labor. Morning sickness is gone and I've gained 5 pounds.
Thanks for checking in on our expanding family.
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