Baby girl is on the move! Just when we thought that we had this whole parenting thing down pat, she throws us this curve ball and changes our whole world up.
Jordyn has now been officially crawling for about 2 weeks. My new life's mission has become doing everything I can to protect Jordyn from herself. I vacuum everyday, I scour the house for tiny choking hazards, I'm yelling at the dog to "Go to bed" so she doesn't get stepped on, I'm constantly redirecting her attention away from the dog food, chords, and munching on the throw rugs... it's a work out. Scott and I now have a fixed baby gate at the top of the stairs, which our dog absolutely hates.
We have a very active girl, and she can easily make it across the room in a blink of an eye. She definitely keeps us on her toes. I can only imagine what life will be like when she's walking. It all makes me very nervous. Please don't get me wrong, I'm excited for each and every mile stone that she hits, it's just scary. I know the stumbles and falls are coming, and I promise to be there to kiss every boo-boo, but I just don't know if I'm ready yet.
In other big girl news, she is sleeping through the night in her own crib. Thank the lord! I can't believe what a zombie I've been for the last few months. I don't know how other families do it, but I've been the only person to get up with her in the middle of the night since she's been born. Yes, there were times in the very beginning when Scott needed to wake up and hand her to me since I simply couldn't bend over and grab her while recovering from a C-section. But, since the day Scott went back work, it's been 100% me at night, and it's definitely taken it's toll. I've spent 100's of dollars at Starbucks... thank God for Starbucks! I'm sure many people around me have been less than pleased with my attitude due to my lack of patience and energy. Sorry to those that I've offended, but I've been silently losing my mind for the last couple of months.
Working a full time job and being a mom is hard. Props to the other women in the world who make it look easy. I just don't think there are enough hours in the day to be a good mom, a good wife, a good friend, and a good employee. And don't even think about time for myself, "Me time" doesn't exist. In the end, everything suffers except being a good mom. I refuse to let that suffer. And while I feel like I've made great strives towards finding a better balance between everything, I don't know if I'll ever have it figured out. We've made more time lately for "date nights" and I've made it a point to see my friends more often, but there are definitely days when I struggle just to get out of bed. Every morning when my alarm goes off, I hit snooze and think of the things I can cut out of my routine so that I can sleep just a little bit longer... "I can go another day without washing my hair," "I don't really need to wear makeup today," "I can skip breakfast," it's really pathetic.
I am not complaining by all means, and I hate to sound like I am. I guess for me, the biggest challenge of motherhood is just finding the time and the energy to work full time and still be supermom. In a perfect world, I'd win the lotto and stay at home with my little princess so that I could enjoy every minute of her childhood and not miss a thing. Things would get done around the house and projects would get finished. Maybe someday, but until then a good portion of my paycheck will be going to Starbucks.
Sweet heart, hang in there! You are doing great by that little love and SCOTT-take a night on the weekends. Seriously. Pick a night every week that is daddy's get up night and you sleep through the night and as long as you want the next morning. Jon had every Fri off so thrusday night was my favorite night of the week. I went to bed knowing that I was going to sleep through the night and sleep past 8am the next morning. Such bliss. Let me know when you want to do the next photo shoot of your little mover and shaker. :)
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